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Review

I canned Divorce 101 and immediately felt at ease.  This service was friendly and I was cconfident that this was the way to go.  I willingly paid up front the required fee and from then on everything went according to play just as I was informed from the start.  What was very helpful ws the ability to contact at any time with questions or concerns and get get answers I needed even when there was nothing really for me to worry about – all the paperwork was delivered as required and I obtained my fianl divorce judgment without a hitch (pardon the pun).

Child Custody Basics

If there are children involved in your divorce, the divorce courts will make child custody arrangements. Most time the court will grant parents  rights if its in the best interest of the child.
With equal child custody rights, both parents have joint child custody, which may include both legal and physical custody. Its also possible for one parent to have sole physical custody, while the non custodial parent share legal custody and  generous child visitation rights.
In New Jersey, the courts will consider the child’s wishes – if he or she is old enough to comprehend making a decision. The parents’ wishes and the relationships between the child and parents, siblings and other people that are involved in the family unit may also be considered. The State has specific child custody guidelines that help determine custody.

Depending on the circumstances the divorce courts will decide on a child custody arrangement that will best provide for the child. During the divorce, the courts may grant temporary custody rights to one of the parents.
These orders may not stay once the divorce is finalized but help give the child an established schedule and routine during the divorce process.
If there is more than one child, typically the children live together for moral support, but the court may separate the children between the parents. It ma also be possible for the divorce courts to award child custody to a third party or close family member.
Typically, the biological parents are considered fit to raise the child, unless there is evidence that suggests otherwise. The burden of proving a parent unfit is a high one and generally isn’t  an issue in most divorce.
Everything is done for the child’s best interests, which ultimately both parents are also hoping for.

Co-Parenting After Divorce

Co-parenting after divorce has become an increasingly attractive and sought after arrangement in contrast to the conventional sole custody in which the mother typically as all the responsibility for the children, co-parenting emphasizes an equal role for the fathers.
Co-Parenting fathers have the chidlren with them for more overnights and play a larger role in the man tasks assiciated with parenting task such as clothes shopping, extra curricular activities and homework. Today the majority of mothers are employed foll time and the simple logistics of two creer couples require co-parenting.
But recognizing that co-[artenting is desirable is not the same thing as making it successful. For co-parenting to work the “co” has to represent cooperation from the beginning. A cople ho conduct an adversarila divorce and then try to hae equaly parenting will find themselves doing parallel parenting rather than co-parenting.
There are four keys to making co-parenting work.
1. Residential Proximity – The most effective way for co-parenting to work is to have the both families live close to each other.
2. Economic Party – Great economic disparit between the two households amost alway causes problems. Unfortunately child support guideline actually punish the mother financially for co-parenting.
3. Intelligent scheduling – Parenting schedules should be desinged to meet the needs of all family members. Parents need time to be with the chidlren. They also need time away from their children to rest and build new social lives.
4. Acceptance of Different Styles – It would be unusual for two parents to have exactly the same parenting styles. People have legitimate differences around ssues of bedtimes, food, TV, discipline and risk tolernace. Cooperative parenting require that each parent resist the temptation to criticize the other parent’s parenting unless there is a serious dnger to the child.

Moving On After A Divorce

Divorce is one of those life events that forces huge changes in your life whether you like it or not. Moving on after divorce, no matter how strong a person you, is challenging. I know that divorce knocks the wind out of your sails-regardless of who’s at fault or what the circumstances are.

You might feel like a failure like you’ve lost the most valuable years of your life. You probably have a lot of new things to worry about ranging from money to work, anger, emotional and physical exhaustion and a fairly incomprehensible view of our life’s choices.

Strap on your attitude because you are surely going to need it for this stage.
First off, make no mistake, it you against you every day. Keep in mind tat you paralyze yourself by focusing on the things you don’t have and can’t do. Rather focus on what you can do.

Forgive yourself – try not to beat yourself up.

Learn to create little victories for yourself and build on them.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

This new life is a work in progress, so you will need to learn patience.

When you think you don’t have the strength dig deeper. You will be amazed at what you never knew was inside you.

Congratulate the new you!

Divorces occur for different reasons. Some people have just grown apart. Others cant argue or make joint decisions constructively. Many people who are unhappy or unfulfilled in their marriage do stay together until the children are a certain age, or until they have all elft the nest. There is a lot of controversy in the research about whether the decision to divorce or stay married in a loveless marriage effects the children one way or the other.
One thin is for certain, however. If the divorce is being contemplated because of Domestic Violence, things only get worse for all involved.
Staying together or divorcing for the sake of the children depends upon the nature and extent of the marital discord.
The key question to ask is whether the unhappy couple could cooperate on parenting issues when staying together. In other words, if the decision to stay is premised upon what’s best for the children, there has be a conscious decision by both parents to the effect that their needs to be happy in a marital relationship are being subordinated by the needs of the children to have their parents stay together. That being the case, if the couple cannot realistically expect to function as a unit in parenting their chidren, the decision to stay together for the sake of the children should be rejected as a “lose-lose” proposition.

Dotted perfectly

Hi Pat,

I am writing this email to thank you for your help with filing my divorce. I really had no idea how to do it without spending thousands on a lawyer which I did not have. I just came from the court house and they were impressed. I was told everything was in order and dotted perfectly. My papers were accepted and you actually made me look like I knew what I was doing. Thanks again

Rick

IRRECONCILABE DIFERENCES – NEW JERSEY’S NO -FAULT DIVORCE

On January 20, 2007, Governor Corzine signed into law a change to the divorce statute. Before that, most divorce complaints were based on either separation (loving separate and apart for at least 18 months) or extreme mental cruelty, which required one spouse to accuse the other of specific acts of cruel behavior. The law now allows for a true no-fault divorce based on either spouse claiming irreconcilable differences. To file a divorce based on irreconcilable differences, the following requirements must be met:
you and your spouse must have lived in New Jersey for 12 months before filing of the divorce complaint.
You and your spouse must have experiences irreconcilable differences for six months.
The irreconcilable differences make it appear that the marriage should be dissolved
There is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.
The irreconcilable differences basis for divorce does not require that one spouse make allegations or accusations against the other.
If you are thinking about filing for divorce, this change in the law may make to process a little smoother. Setting a more peacefil tone in the divorce complaint may result in a quicker settlement.
This article is not done by an attorney nor does it represent legal adivce. Only an attorney can give you legal advice. This is just to give you an idea to what you can file a divorce for.

What to Expect at the Hearing for you Final Judgment

On the day of the hearing the court clerk will ask you for a copy of your final judgment for divorce. At this point in the process, the divorce is just about over.
If the defendant is not present for the hearing, the judge will make sure the defendant was served property with the summons and the complaint, The m

The court may ask you a few question to determine that everything in the complaint is true to the best of your knowledge. The court normally assumes that you are telling the truth unless your spouse contests something that you have said. It is important to listen carefully to the judge’s questions and answer them truthfully. If you do not understand a question, ask the judge to repeat the question.
If you have requested that the court grant a name change, the judge will ask you why you are changeding your name to get out of debts owed to creditors or to avoid any criinal charges that may have been filed againt you.
Once the judge is done with his questions he will sign the final judgment for divorce and you are able to leave the courthouse. The process will take less than 10 minutes.

Alimony Spousal Support

Alimony refers to support paid by one spouse to the other to help the other spouse continue to live the way he or she lived while married.  Alimony may be awarded to either paryt to a divorce action.  The rules of alimony apply to both parties regardless of gender.  Keep in mind that receiving alimony may effect your eligibility for public benefits, and you many want to consider that when making your decision.

There are several different type of alimony

Permanent alimony – Generally permanent alimony is awarded only if the parties have been married for a very substantial time period or if you are financially dependent or permanently unable to work because of disability or lack of skills or work experience.  You may get alimony for the rest of your life or until you remarry.  Ether party may apply to the court after the divorce to adjust the amount of alimony when there has been a change in the parties’ circumstances.

Limited duration alimony – You may get temporary alimony until the occurrence of a particular event, suc as when you get a job.  In determining how long to grant alimony, the court must consider how ling it will take you to improve your earnng capacity so that alimony is no longer needed.  The court can change the award based on changed circustances or if the expected even does not occur.  The court can change the amount of the award but will rarely change the length of time for alimony to be paid.

Rehabilitative alimony – You will probabioy get temporary rehabilitative alimony if you are like to be able to supprt your self after more education or training.  You must show the specific steps for rehabilitation adn the amount of time they are expected to take.  This type of alimony can also be chagned based upon changed circumstances.

Reimbursement alimony – You can get this type of alimony if you supported your spouse through school or training and expected to enefit from you spouse’s increased income after fininshing school

In deciding wheterh or not to award alimony, the court should consider a number of factors.  These include:

The parties’ acutal needs and ability to pay

The lenght of the marriage

The age and physical and emotional health of both parties

The standard of living established during the marrige and the parties

abilities to maintain a reasonble comparable standard of living

The parties’ earning capacities, educational levels, vocational skilss, and emploability.

The length of tie the party seeking alimony has been ouf of the job market

The parental espnsiblities of the part seeking alimony

Any other income availabe to the parties

The tax consequences of any alimony award

Any other factaors the court finds relevant